I’ve been talking to someone lately and we seem to be getting along pretty well which is unusual for me.  Usually it will start of slow and stay that way for a while before any hint of getting along well comes along.  I’ve had plenty of crap in the past where I’ve let myself go fully into it and been burned for that so I’m trying to control how far I let myself go this time.  Due to impending death (tribunal on Monday 9th) I’m pretty highly strung right now and anxiety is playing a part in making me distance myself from everyone.  To their credit the person didn’t run away and I was glad about that thinking maybe, just maybe, it would be different this time.

Fast foward to tonight and while talking and on cam I can see them typing away like nobodies business and laughing but they weren’t talking to me so I asked what was funny and who they were talking to.  The answer?  “Noone” ….. I tried to let it go but couldn’t so I waited a few more minutes, saw more laughing and typing that wasn’t to me and I asked the same question.  Same answer.  Why lie?  You’re obviously talking to SOMEONE.  If you don’t want to tell me that’s fine, tell me that but DON’T lie to me.  You wondered if something was wrong, yeah… you lied.  I don’t care if it was nothing, you chose to lie and it made me so angry.  I don’t see there ever being a time where lying is ok, especially not to someone you claim to love.

What’s going to happen now?  I’ve got no idea.  I’m not going to apologise for being upset when the reason I’m upset is that you lied to me for whatever reason you might have.  What if it means it ends here too?  Then so be it.  I’m tired of being lied to, I don’t care if it was nothing.  If it really was nothing you could’ve told me, it isn’t like I’m constantly looking over your shoulder quizzing you ever second of the day.  If I was like that I might understand but I’m not.  Will it end?  I don’t know but I wouldn’t be surprised if it did and for what?  A stupid lie that was so obvious.  Did you forget I was watching your cam too as well as the other person you weren’t (no typo there) talking to?  Say whatever to me when I mention all this?  Yeah.. nice one.  Don’t expect me to magically have forgotten about this when you feel like talking to me again.