Archive for February, 2009
There’s a crisp maker in the UK (potato chip for others) by the name of Walkers and they make a lot of very popular crisps. Last year they ran a competition where you could suggest a flavour you’d love to see and the overall winner will get £10,000 and a portion of profits from the winning flavour. I put a few entries in myself but wasn’t too serious about it, my sister had a few ideas too and we spent some time putting together one fairly good entry along with a pretty good image to accompany it. In the event a lot of people suggested the same flavour the one they judged that had the best image would be chosen so it did make a difference, supposedly.
This past month they’ve announced six flavours that the public can pick from and vote for with the winner being decided from that. What six flavours are they? The most pathetic, disgusting sounding flavours I could imagine! It makes me wonder if they did it on purpose so that any sales will be low before the flavour is killed off, thus limiting what they have to pay to the final winner. I’ll list the flavours under this but suffice to say that I won’t be trying ANY of them. I’m interested to see what is eventually shown as the winner but I’m already guessing it’ll be one of the more obvious and less disgusting choices.
1. Builder’s Breakfast – egg, bacon, sausage and beans
2. Crispy Duck and Hoisin
3. Onion Bhaji
4. Chilli & Chocolate
5. Fish & Chips
6. Cajun Squirrel
OK, let’s take a look at that list. Chilli and chocolate…. you’re telling me that it was a highly suggested flavour? I don’t buy that one bit. Cajun Squirrel? What? Why? Is it April 1st already? The other four flavours I could maybe see being somewhat popular but there were some I suggested that had been suggested already by a lot of others and I refuse to believe that the two I listed were more popular. Out of those six disgusting flavours I’d be surprised if the winner wasn’t either Builder’s Breakfast or Onion Bhaji with Fish & Chips an outside bet. Anything else that wins will prove to me that the so-called competition wasn’t serious about picking a popular flavour and more about picking one that would limit the money they’d have to pay to the overall winner.
I’ve been talking to someone lately and we seem to be getting along pretty well which is unusual for me. Usually it will start of slow and stay that way for a while before any hint of getting along well comes along. I’ve had plenty of crap in the past where I’ve let myself go fully into it and been burned for that so I’m trying to control how far I let myself go this time. Due to impending death (tribunal on Monday 9th) I’m pretty highly strung right now and anxiety is playing a part in making me distance myself from everyone. To their credit the person didn’t run away and I was glad about that thinking maybe, just maybe, it would be different this time.
Fast foward to tonight and while talking and on cam I can see them typing away like nobodies business and laughing but they weren’t talking to me so I asked what was funny and who they were talking to. The answer? “Noone” ….. I tried to let it go but couldn’t so I waited a few more minutes, saw more laughing and typing that wasn’t to me and I asked the same question. Same answer. Why lie? You’re obviously talking to SOMEONE. If you don’t want to tell me that’s fine, tell me that but DON’T lie to me. You wondered if something was wrong, yeah… you lied. I don’t care if it was nothing, you chose to lie and it made me so angry. I don’t see there ever being a time where lying is ok, especially not to someone you claim to love.
What’s going to happen now? I’ve got no idea. I’m not going to apologise for being upset when the reason I’m upset is that you lied to me for whatever reason you might have. What if it means it ends here too? Then so be it. I’m tired of being lied to, I don’t care if it was nothing. If it really was nothing you could’ve told me, it isn’t like I’m constantly looking over your shoulder quizzing you ever second of the day. If I was like that I might understand but I’m not. Will it end? I don’t know but I wouldn’t be surprised if it did and for what? A stupid lie that was so obvious. Did you forget I was watching your cam too as well as the other person you weren’t (no typo there) talking to? Say whatever to me when I mention all this? Yeah.. nice one. Don’t expect me to magically have forgotten about this when you feel like talking to me again.
I’ve been having a lot of dreams the past few weeks and as usual for me the ones I remember are all depressing. Waking up to face a new day is a challenge at the best of times, waking up to face a new day trembling with fear and gasping for air is ridiculous. Until the past few weeks I’d be lucky to remember one or two dreams a month but now it’s one or two dreams a night. I’m stressed to hell all day and now apparently I’m stressed to hell while dreaming too. It might be related to how worried I am about both parents who have health issues to the point where I wake up if I hear one of them coughing at night in case they’re about to collapse. Grabbing for the phone in my sleep, listening carefully just in case and hoping it’s nothing.
As if that’s not keeping me stressed 24/7 I can’t pull myself out of the regret phase over some people from my past. Some that I don’t have any contact with, some that I do have contact with but so infrequently that I long for what we once had. Is there some trick or technique to forgetting the past and moving on? I’ve tried a lot of different things but all it takes is a few dreams about them to bring back all those feelings again and I’m back to where I started.